Following Dreams, Part 2

Submitted by Sandy on Fri, 03/23/2018 - 17:55

First Step

Two of the actions that I decided to take were to create a flyer and set up a Facebook page to promote my business.  With ideas floating through my head, I logged on to Vistaprint and began playing around with some of the templates that they had available.  I made up a simple flyer, included my business name, phone number, operating hours and outlined a few services I was offering.  Placed the order.  One action DONE!  

Next step Facebook page.  This was a bit more challenging.  This part made me nervous, those nagging voices asked "who do you think you are?", "who is going to trust you with their dog?", "what if I screw up?", "what if nobody calls?", and on and on.  Somehow I ignored the questions and focused on the goal.  I began filling out the areas on Facebook that determined the tkype of business, where the business was located, added pictures and a bit of content. When the time came to publish the page, I couldn't do it.  I felt like I needed to make certain everything was in place before I could publish the page.  Part of my vision was to rent space from school where I took grooming classes, I had spoken to her about this soon after graduating and she was in favor of the idea.  I felt like I needed something more concrete, more definite, someone saying "Yes, that is a great idea".  So I held off.  The next meeting with my Life Coach came and I still hadn't done anything to confirm that I could use her salon to do my grooming. 

I had the flyers, but felt as if I failed because I procrastinated calling and asking for permission and discussing fees for renting space in her shop. I met with Stephanie and showed the flyers and was happy when she said well done.  Then I admitted that while I had created the Facebook page it wasn't published and gave the reasons why.  When I said to Stephanie that I had failed, she asked me why I felt that way.  It was then she began to explain some of the concepts from the book "The Energy of Money". by Maria Nemeth, PH. D.. This book is a Spiritual guide that teaches you how to build a new relationship with your money and bring your dreams to fruition.  One of the concepts of this book teaches about "Being at the Border".  When you are following your dream, eventually you will come to a place where you need to step out of your comfort zone.  At this point you have a choice.  You can stay stuck at the border OR you can cross over the border and take one step closer to your dream.  

Well that made it seem easy.  Then the nagging voices showed up again.  Stephanie explained another concept - Monkey Mind.  This is your mind on the border.  It screams, yells, kicks, bites and does everything to stop you from crossing.  Every time I explained why it wouldn't work, Stephanie asked back "why not?".  (This can be very annoying and very uncomfortable to an introvert.)  At the end of our meeting, I left with the action of calling and setting up time to discuss space rental, fees and any other details that would make me feel comfortable and I could publish my Facebook page.  

After the call was made and agreements settled, I published the page.  Second action Done!

I groomed a few dogs and continued to try and get the business rolling.  I had a very small clientel and after I looked at what I was making after paying the space rent, I was barely making minimum wage.  There was no way I was going to quit my corporate job and be able to live off dog grooming.  Disappointed, I spoke with a friend who I had met while going through grooming school.  Kim was a few years younger and had a small business prior to attending grooming school.  We hit it off and continued our friendship after we had graduated.  While my dream was to have my own salon, Kim's dream was to have a mobile grooming business.  I had never heard of mobile grooming and since there were no other mobile groomers in the area, I wasn't certain that would be something that would be successful. Kim bought her grooming truck and when we met shortly after she brought it home, she asked how business was going.  I told her it wasn't going as well as I wanted and I didn't see how I could make a go of it renting space to do my grooming.  Kim told me to check out mobile grooming.  I did, but I was shocked at the prices of the units and didn't see how that would be possible for me.  After I explained this, she asked me to agree to do a "ride along" with her.  A ride along is pretty much that, I rode along as she worked through a day of mobile grooming.  Kim is great company and I had a blast!    The day flew by and when we were done, Kim again said she thought that I should try mobile grooming.  I told her I would think about it and do some more research.  That night I also had another meeting with Stephanie and the small group I was not part of and when asked how my day was, my face lit up and I shared that I got to do a day of grooming with a friend who has a mobile grooming truck.  

The idea of a mobile grooming truck was growing on me.  But I looked at the price of the truck and immediately went and shut the computer down and gave up.  There was no way I could afford $100k for a truck.  I didn't have enough customers that I could even make minimum wage!  I put that idea on the shelf and kept grooming part time and kept my corporate job.  Security.  I like knowing that every two weeks, money is deposited into my accounts.  I had decent health insurance.  I had some money in retirement, maybe I could use that... No.  I need that for when I am no longer able to work.  I'll stay corporate.  

The problem with staying in a corporate career was that for me, it wasn't what I really wanted to do.  I was okay with the position I had, but there really wasn't anything I REALLY wanted to do.  I wasn't happy, I was content but that was becoming less and less satisfying.  

And then it happened.  

There was going to be a job reduction of 300 positions in my department.  They would be offering a "package" to an employee who submitted their name an early separation package, if they didn't meet the 300 quota they were looking for, those who had their position eliminated were not guaranteed anything.  I looked hard at my situation.  I wanted to be working a job that I didn't dread getting up in the morning.  I wanted a job that didn't feel like I job, I wanted to be happy.  I could stay and hope I made the cut.  I decided to wait until they announced what the package was.  There was a department meeting and I learned that for every year of service, plus your age, you would get "X" amount of your current salary plus a year of benefits, capping out at 52 weeks and it would be paid out in a lump sum and taxes would be withheld.  

You would think that getting a years salary and a year of benefits would have been something to celebrate, not for this girl.  I still didn't see how I could survive without a bi-weekly paycheck.  

At our next coaching group, I shared the news.  Everyone was excited and happy for me.  I was filled with dread.  When I shared those feelings, Stephaine said something like, "Sweetie, the world is opening up for you.  The planets are aligning and giving you this opportunity."  It was true, I was being given the opportunity to step out and begin pursuing my dream.  It was clear.  I was not.  The day to submit my name was a month away.  I swung back and forth, I was going to do it, no, I was going to stay.  I was nauseated from all the swinging back and for about making a decision.  The day came, I opened the e-mail to submit the form.  I closed it, opened it, closed it dozens of times.  Then, taking a deep breath, I did it.  I submitted my name to leave a career that I had been at for over 20 years.